The Place To Go When Feeling Sorry for Yourself

If you are like most people, there are times when you are on a roll…a roll of being hard on yourself…a roll of nothing going right…a roll of feeling sorry for yourself. There are times when I’m on this roll. I hop on unintentionally and unexpectedly. And, today was one of those days:

  • “What’s wrong with me that I wasn’t invited to that party?”
  • “I am so fat…if I could just drop 10 pounds…”
  • “Petty Baby-daddy drama is trying to get the best of me.”
  • “My teenager is the most disrespectful child on earth.”
  • “I need more money. What I have now is not enough.”
  • “Where are my friends when I need them?”
  • “This guy really doesn’t like me. He likes some other chick.”
  • “Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is going right today. WTF?”
  • and on, and on, and on I go feeling sorry for myself

I can stay on this roll all day long and the results are typical and certain:  I, 1) get next to nothing done; 2) snap at my kids; 3) procrastinate; and, 4) am moody
So, how do I get out of feeling sorry for myself? After all, the reasons to feel sorry for myself are all real and legitimate (at least they are in my mind). The reasons aren’t changing it seems.

The great poet, Rumi, wrote:

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.”

“…there is a field. I will meet you there.” That field – the place I go when I am feeling sorry for myself is called “Gratitude“. Day by day, moment by moment, Gratitude invites me to the field, to cuddle with her, to listen to her, to share with her. Gratitude listens when I speak and asks that I listen when she speaks. The exchange between us is heart-warming. The moment I step on the field, I feel better immediately.

But, it’s not stepping on the field that’s the hard part; it’s moving from where I am in the feeling-sorry-moment and walking to the field. That’s the hard part. However, the discomfort of feeling sorry for myself and the longing to feel better compel me to go to the field and sit with Gratitude. And when I do – when I get moving from where I am to that field – my outlook turns from inward sadness to outward joy. In the presence of Gratitude, feeling sorry for myself has to leave in order to make space for a new roll that goes like this:


  • Whether invited to a party or not, I’m so much fun to be around 🙂
  • I’m thin enough just as I am
  • My children have a daddy. Thank God!
  • My teenager wants to express himself and is learning how
  • I have a roof over my head and food on my table
  • Friends are a gift that keeps on giving
  • I’m in a league of my own
  • This morning, I awakened to sunshine

I feel so much better. In fact, I feel enlivened and ready to make today a great day!

Works every time.

Whenever you are feeling sorry for yourself, visit Gratitude. She’ll be waiting for you.

Thank you, Gratitude. See you again real soon.

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