You Can Recover After Divorce – A Love Letter to Moms

(A love letter I wish I had read during my divorce which I now dedicate to moms going through and coming out.)

Dear Beautiful,

You may not believe that there is an end to your pain, confusion, and disappointment, but there is.  The many questions you ask yourself are heard. The agony you feel is acknowledged. Your inconsolable cries in the darkness of the night (because you won’t cry in front of your children) are seen. The many glasses of wine to numb your pain are without judgment.


To say, “Don’t worry, it will be alright”, just isn’t comforting. Instead, I say this to you: divorce is a journey. Make peace with it. Take with you a wise companion, Pain. Let her be your guiding light through the twists and turns along the path. Take with you the blanket of Confusion to cover your body when it is time to rest. Be sure to pack the pillow of Disappointment, because you will need to rest your head on something soft. The days will be long and hard.


I want most for you to relax into what is on the other side of the journey, the other side where Pain, Confusion, and Disappointment bid their farewell. On that other side are clarity, peace, and success. On that other side awaits the real You; not you your ex wanted you to be or you you tried to be to make everyone else happy.


The You on the other side knows who she is good enough just as she is.


The You on the other side owns her power.


The You on the other side settles only for extraordinary.


During this journey, remember just a few important points that are easy to forget:


  • You are not alone, so don’t go it alone. Reach out to those who love you for who you are and ask them to remind you what’s on the other side of the journey.
  • Find daily motivation. Motivation is the fuel to keep putting one foot in front of the other, to keep moving through the journey.
  • Write down the vision of what you want for yourself and for your life when you have reached the end of this journey. That vision will pull you forward.
  • Be kind to yourself. You are not a bad person and you are not being punished.
  • Your children will be alright as long as you tend to your healing and growth. Be their example of how one journeys through pain, confusion, and disappointment. There is no greater life lesson than this example.


Lastly, I call you Dear Beautiful, not to be gratuitous or patronizing. I call you Beautiful because I already see who you are. And you, Beautiful, are courageous and strong spiritually and emotionally.


With all my love,

The Real You


black female motivational speaker

As a Resilience Speaker, Author, and Singer, I am passionate about helping moms have financial success and emotional strength during and beyond divorce. I appeared on The Dr. Oz Show to share my story of divorce recovery. I wrote a book about resilience and inner truth that guidance moms to clarity and calm, and recorded a song of empowerment. My passion is helping moms own their power, know they are good enough, and settle only for extraordinary.

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You Can Recover After Divorce

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